TWEENS14 I'd Rather Be
by A Rhea King
Summary: Trip and Malcolm are surprised by what a crewman is doing on his off time. Malcolm gets a call from his father. Archer discovers Ten-Hut, and spoils Navta. The crew get into a food fight. Late is late.
1. One Step Forward

Chapter 14 : I'd Rather Be…  
By A. Rhea King

_One Step Forward (1)_

Archer let out a sigh, following Trip around the engine, "Please Trip?"

"I can't!"

"Trip, please."

Cap'n," Trip stopped and turned. "Have you ever known me to refuse goin' visitin' before?"

"No. Which is why—"

"Which is why you should believe me when I tell you I cannot go." Trip turned, opening a panel. "Look, if you want to leave this solar system any time soon, Cap'n, then I have to stay here and make the engine go vroom. Otherwise, we're not going vroom anywhere."

Archer looked aside.

"Take T'Pol."

"She, Hoshi, and Vardee went to the planet out on the edge of the solar system. They're busy."

"Take Travis."

"Who's going to pilot Enterprise through the asteroid field to pick up the women?"

Trip rolled his eyes. "Then take Malcolm."

"He has the twins."

Trip turned, facing Archer, "I don't know what to tell ya." Trip turned and walked away.

Archer followed him. "I could order you."

"You could. And then you'd complain because the engine isn't getting repaired as fast you'd like it to be."

"I don't complain about that!" Archer protested.

Trip scoffed, "Oh! Right!"

"I don't!" Archer argued.

Trip stopped, looking back at Archer. "How long have we been at space, Cap'n?"

"Over seven years, but I—"

"And you think you don't get irritable when the repairs aren't done when _you_ think they should be done?"

"No."

"Should I put that up for a ship wide vote or do you wanna just believe me?"

Archer narrowed his eyes. "I need a navigator. They told me the weather controllers move randomly and it takes two people to get any craft to the surface."

"So…take Ensign Carter."

"And who's going to pilot on the night shift?"

"You're being difficult."

"I will beg."

"Hey! I know," Trip spun around. "Take Brila."

"Brila's a cook."

"She was the navigator on the Diedra for seven years, Cap'n."

Archer hesitated, realizing that hadn't even come to mine. Honestly he admitted, "I'd forgotten about that."

Trip turned, walking again. "Her or Sisyl both, but I have a feeling that getting reclamation to let you have Sisyl might be near to impossible."

Archer smiled. "They've become attached to him, haven't they?"

"The reclamation team is an odd bunch, Cap'n. They go around calling Sisyl 'Little Buddy' after some old television show character. Amanda told me Sisyl almost looks like the character but I'll just have to take her word on that."

Archer laughed. "If Brila won't go, I'm ordering you."

"Order away." Trip opened a maintenance tunnel door and looked back at Archer. "But just remember that when things aren't getting done when _you_ want them done it was _your_ fault, sir."

"I do not get like that!"

Trip had already climbed into the tunnel. He looked back at Archer with a wide grin. "Aye, Cap'n. You _never_ get like that. Never."

Archer laughed. He turned and headed for the galley.

#

Archer sat down in the pilot's seat.

"Ready?" Archer asked.

"Yes," Brila answered in a quiet voice.

"Okay, here we go. Do you have the data for the weather spheres?"

Brila smiled, looking at him, "You pilot. I'll navigate. We'll call it even, sir."

Archer laughed. "Sorry. Habit."

"Ready for launch. I have the entry coordinates programmed. Once we enter the atmosphere I'll plot the coordinates manually to get us through the spheres."

"Sounds good. Let's not mess up their weather, okay?"

"That was the general plan, sir."

Archer looked back at her. She smirked, keeping her eyes on the controls. Archer smiled.

"I didn't know you were such a wise crack." Archer looked back at the controls.

"Guess you don't know me."

"Guess I'll have to make a change to that."

"Guess so."

Archer chuckled. They entered the atmosphere and the two returned to seriousness. Archer brushed only one sphere using Brila's navigation plotting and that was only because it changed position at the last minute. Archer landed the shuttle pod and sat back.

"I have to say, Brila, being a ship steward hasn't dulled your navigation abilities," Archer complimented.

"Does that mean I get to stay on Enterprise?" Brila asked. "Or that you don't like my cooking and you'd rather I navigate?"

Archer stood, leaning toward her. "Keep making peanut butter pies, Brila, and don't let the navigating go to your head!"

Brila grinned at him. "Aye, aye, cap'n."

Archer laughed, patting her shoulder. "This should only take a few hours. You did bring something to do, right?"

"I brought an entire kitchen. Does that count?"

Archer shook his head, laughing. "Just do the dishes before I get back." Archer walked over to the hatch, opening the door. "Don't leave without me."

"I would never leave without you, sir," Brila answered in a softer voice.

Archer looked back at her as he stepped out of the shuttle pod. Brila wasn't watching him as he'd half expected based on the reply she had just made. Archer shrugged, presuming that the response really was nothing more than a joke. He turned and walked out to greet the two men waiting for him.

Brila looked up, watching him. She hadn't meant to say what she had out loud. And now she watched him walk away, just like she did every time he left the mess hall. Watching to see if he ever turned back, if there was ever some sign he might have noticed her watching him.

He didn't.

He never did.


	2. Jammin'

_Jammin' (2)_

Trip followed Malcolm around the bend of the wall.

"This could wait, Malcolm," Trip said.

"Wouldn't you rather just get it done now, sir?" Malcolm glanced back at Trip.

"No. I'd rather go eat dinner, turn in early and be a little less zombie like tomorrow."

"Zombies are walking dead. You hardly can be classified as that, Trip," Malcolm replied.

"It was a _figure_ of speech, Malcolm," Trip growled.

"It will only take a moment, sir."

Trip sighed. His stomach rumbled loudly in protest. Malcolm stopped outside Lieutenant Porter's quarters and rang the doorbell.

"I could sign it tomorrow, Malcolm," Trip argued.

"But you're already here."

"And he isn't answering."

Malcolm rang the bell again. "It's just a signature, sir."

Trip narrowed his eyes. "You're wife is right. You can be amazingly stubborn!"

"I like to think of myself as determined, sir." Malcolm rang the bell again.

"He isn't home, Malcolm! I'm going to eat." Trip turned to leave.

Malcolm caught Trip's arm. "He's home," Malcolm argued and entered the security code.

"MALCOLM!" Trip scolded Malcolm, watching him step through the open door.

Trip stepped in beside Malcolm, both men stopping inside the door and staring. Lieutenant Porter was standing in front of the view port of his quarters. He had on a pair of headphones that were attached to a stereo and amplifier. The stereo was playing background music that was turned up so loud both men could hear the beat. Plugged into the amplifier was an electric guitar that Lieutenant Porter was putting his body into as he strummed it.

"We should go," Trip whispered.

"I need his sig—"

"Later, _Malcolm_," Trip said, grabbing Malcolm's arm and starting to back toward the door.

The door opened as the music stopped and Lieutenant Porter turned, looking openly surprised when he saw the two men standing in his quarters.

"We're leaving," Trip said loudly. "Sorry for the interruption."

Lieutenant Porter pulled his headphones off, resting them on his neck.

"I thought something was wrong," Trip continued lying, "when you didn't answer the door. I had Lieutenant Reed open the door to make sure everything was all right. Everything is! We'll talk tomorrow. Sorry for the interruption."

"Sir," Malcolm said, pulling his arm away from Trip.

Trip shot a glare at Malcolm. Malcolm looked back at Lieutenant Porter. "Excuse us. We'll talk tomorrow."

Lieutenant Porter said nothing while he watched the two men disappear back out his door. The door closed but Lieutenant Porter stared at it for a few more minutes.

"That was weird," he thought out loud.

Lieutenant Porter put his headphones back on, turned back around and went back to playing his guitar.


	3. Care Package

_Care Package (3)_

Malcolm had been pacing the same stretch of floor for the last ten minutes. Archer and Sista watched him from the couch.

"He's nervous," Sista said.

"No. Really?" Archer joked.

Sista smiled.

Archer looked back at her. She was sitting back on the couch and looked tired. Affixed to her right shoulder was a combadge.

"He thinks he's going to be yelled at," Sista told Archer.

"For what?"

"He doesn't know," Sista said.

"Why would his parents yell at him?"

"I'm sure it's something. They wouldn't want to contact me directly if they weren't going to carry on about something," Malcolm interjected.

Archer looked up at Malcolm. "I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill."

"You don't know them, sir." Malcolm glanced at Archer.

"He wore a hole in the mess hall the day of our wedding. Remember?" Sista joked.

"Yes. He did." Archer looked back at her. "You think he's hiding something from us?"

Sista smiled. "Possibly."

"Vardee, can't you be serious?" Malcolm snapped at her.

"No." Sista shook her head. "I'm too tired to be serious."

"At least be when they call!" Malcolm said.

"I make no promises."

The companel beeped in their quarters.

Archer stood. "Well, because they're using a Starfleet console I was told I had to be present, but not visible. I'll be in the children's room." Archer motioned to the bedroom.

Sista nodded, watching him go into the room. She sat up, watching Malcolm walk over to the companel and hesitate.

"You have to press the button, sweetheart," Sista said.

Malcolm shot her an angry look. He pressed the button.

"Yes?"

"We've received the transmission from Starfleet, sir," Hoshi said.

"Put it through," Malcolm said.

"You'll only have ten minutes before we'll move out of range and lose the signal," Hoshi advised Malcolm.

"Very good." Malcolm walked over to stand in front of the view screen. He glanced down when Sista slid her hand into his and held it.

The black view screen lit up and Stuart Reed, Malcolm's father, appeared on the screen. He was sitting in a plain room with gray walls and a couple of consoles behind him. But there was no other person in sight.

"Sir," Malcolm said.

"Hello, Mr. Reed," Sista said in her gentle voice.

Stuart stared at the two of them.

Sista smiled. "I wish no disrespect, sir, but we only have ten minutes before the signal is lost," Sista quietly informed him.

"Where's mum, sir?" Malcolm asked.

"Good place to start, Malcolm," Stuart said, nodding his head slightly, "She and Madeline think I'm in Sweden on business. It would be best that we allow them to believe that. They have no need to know that I'm here talking to you."

"Of course, sir."

"Understood Vardee?" Stuart said.

"As you wish, sir."

Stuart nodded, looking down. "So…I'm a grand-father?"

"Yes." Sista smiled when he looked up. "Kasbra Nayel and Jon Nathan."

Stuart lifted up a PADD that he had in his hands, nodding. "These two are beautiful."

"We think so," Sista said. She pulled close to Malcolm, sliding her arm around his waist even though he didn't attempt to hold her.

"How have you been keeping, Malcolm?"

"Well, sir."

"That's good. Good indeed." Stuart looked up. "Do you know Admiral Garner?"

"Yes, sir," Malcolm answered.

Sista shook her head.

"Friendly chap, that admiral. We had a lengthy talk about Starfleet. I came to realize how similar it is to the Royal Navy."

"They do have many similarities, sir."

"Yes. I told him he was lucky to have the best munitions officer of Britain."

Malcolm swallowed, staring at his father. He felt Sista nudge him in the back with her hand.

"Thank you, sir," Malcolm said.

Stuart nodded. "Must be the best. He told me your captain chose you out of a hundred candidates. A coveted position, I'd assume."

Malcolm didn't reply.

"Captain Archer told me once that he thought Malcolm was the best," Sista said.

Stuart nodded. "He's a good officer."

"Officer…sir?" Malcolm asked.

"Of course!" Stuart nodded. "You're a fine officer."

Malcolm didn't reply. He gripped Sista's hand tight when she slid her hand into his, the only indication of his nervousness.

"And how are you two getting on?" Stuart asked.

"Well, sir," Malcolm said.

"As well as most married couples do, I understand," Sista commented, smiling.

"Well, every married couple is bound to have a dispute every now and then. My Malcolm can be a stubborn sort, Vardee."

"He can be. But it's one of his most admirable characteristics." Sista gently laughed.

Stuart's hard face seemed to soften. "He has many admirable characteristics, Vardee. I hope you find them all."

Sista smiled up at Malcolm. "I hope so too, sir."

Malcolm looked away from the screen.

"I'm proud of you, son."

Malcolm looked up, unable to hide his shock. "Sir?"

Stuart's lips pursed for a second. "Your mother and I are both proud of you, Malcolm. And we…I, am happy that you have married and you have two lovely children. You are doing something I never would have done, let alone dreamed of doing, and for that I can only condone your bravery, son."

Malcolm stared at the screen in dumbfound silence.

The companel beeped. Sista walked over to answer it.

"Yes?"

"We'll lose the signal in ten seconds, Vardee."

"Thank you, Hoshi."

"Well, best to bid you both farewell. That's what I called to tell you, Malcolm. I am very proud of you and I love you son. I look forward to seeing my grandchildren in person one day."

"Five seconds," Hoshi said.

"We look forward to meeting you, sir," Sista said, looking at Malcolm.

Malcolm opened his mouth, shut it, then blurted, "I love you fa—" The view screen went black. "Father," Malcolm whispered to himself.

Sista slid her arms around him, holding him. Malcolm wrapped his arms around her, holding her even tighter.

"He's proud of me," Malcolm whispered.

Sista smiled when Malcolm looked at her. "Yes. And he loves you."

Malcolm smiled, kissing her. "Thank you for not letting me back out of this."

Sista smiled. "One of us has to be the more stubborn one."

Malcolm pulled her to him in a tight hug, closing his eyes. He looked up when he heard their door open and watched Archer leave without a word. Malcolm closed his eyes again, pressing his face into his wife's hair.


	4. I Had a Dream

_I Had A Dream (4)_

T'Pol startled awake when the door of her quarters opened. For a moment she thought she was dreaming and then she heard someone walk up to the bed.

"T'Pol?" Trip whispered from the darkness.

"Yes?"

Trip climbed into bed beside her. She felt his body trembling even before his arms wrapped around her and he pulled close to her. He laid his head on her shoulder and his hot tears soaked through her nightshirt.

"Was it a nightmare?" T'Pol whispered, holding him to her.

"Yeah."

T'Pol let out a soft sigh. Since the Caritek had kidnapped him, every so often Trip would go through a couple days of nightmares. Most of the time he handled them well and only needed her to listen to them. But occasionally he apparently couldn't handle them and he would come to her like this.

"Tell me about it, Charles," T'Pol whispered.

"The Caritek kidnapped you and you forgot who I was. We came to rescue you, me and Jon and Xerrix, have no idea why Xerrix was there, and I tried to remind you who I was. You were working in this diner in the middle of the desert but you had a phaser. And you shot me. I lay dying and you remembered me then. But when you went to kneel down by me they came and took you away again. And I went to find you again. I looked in every room of the house and then I was going down every street and I couldn't find you. I couldn't find you anywhere. I went into this boathouse and found you getting married to this man. You didn't remember me. The police came and arrested me and the more I screamed the further away you got. Until you were gone. I couldn't get to you. I lost you." Trip started crying again.

T'Pol laid her hand on his cheek. "Do you feel like you're losing me?"

"No." Trip caught her hand and kissed her palm and fingers.

"Are you certain?"

"T'Pol, if I felt like that I'd say something. I'm not losing you," Trip paused. "Am I?"

"Never."

Trip let out a breath he'd held until she answered. "I just need you. I love you."

"I love you as well, Charles."

Trip nestled his head into her shoulder. T'Pol listened to his breathing until it slowed with sleep. T'Pol allowed herself to go back to sleep and one dream stood out in her mind the next morning. She had spent hours working alongside Trip to build their house using green and blue bricks and carefully laying on brick at a time. And the sun had been bright and somewhere nearby she had heard the gleeful sound of children laughing.


	5. Share

_Share (5)_

Archer couldn't get any more relaxed if he tried. He had stopped thinking about anything some time ago and his mind was merely drifting. So when the door opened it startled him enough to fall off the bench. He quickly picked himself up, staring at the crewmen staring at him.

"Sir," Lieutenant McNielson said, collecting himself to stand at attention, despite he was wearing a muscle shirt and shorts.

Behind him his four crewmen, Amanda Johnson, Manny Franklin, Sisyl and Jacob Parker, did the same, dropping their towels at their feet.

Archer tried to find a reply, but he didn't have one.

Sisyl pushed through the four, stopping when he saw Archer.

"I'm leaving. Now." Archer turned to grab his towel.

"You don't have to, sir. We will leave, sir"

Archer forced a smile. "Really. I'm leaving."

"Sir, we figured you'd find Ten-Hut eventually. You or someone anyway and so you may stay, we will leave."

Archer looked at them. "How long has this been here?" Archer glanced around the makeshift sauna.

"Almost seven months, sir."

"And you never thought to tell me or ask before building it?"

Lieutenant McNielson looked down. His crew looked away, pretending to find interest anywhere but on their captain. Archer smiled.

"I'm not mad. I've been using it for a while now."

Lieutenant McNielson looked at him. "Then it can stay?"

"Let's just hope no one else stumbles on it like I did. Then I'll have to figure out what to say."

Lieutenant McNielson chuckled. "The truth could be damaging, Captain."

Archer grinned. "Perhaps. How about we all stay?"

"As you wish, sir."

Lieutenant McNielson walked in and his four crewmen followed, spreading out on the benches. Archer returned to the bench he'd been laying on.

"I purr, Captain Archer," Sisyl stated.

Archer looked at Sisyl. "Pardon?"

"He purrs, sir," Amanda said. "I hope that won't be a problem."

Archer closed his eyes without commenting. It said enough about his indifference on the matter. He was drifting back toward that state of relaxation when he heard Sisyl start purring. Archer smiled, momentarily thinking back on the times Sista purred while he was around. Except this time, mixed with the warm steam of the room, it was more soothing. Archer let his mind drift again until he fell asleep.


	6. Playtime

_Playtime (6)_

Archer let out a long bored sigh. He looked around the cargo hold filled with junk; lots and lots and lots of junk. Travis had made a very valid point a while back that Archer kept finding himself holding to every time they came across one of these space merchants.

'Some of these space merchants actually have useful items, sir.' Travis had said. 'We should check it out.'

And he was right. They had come across some interesting and sometimes valuable things. Things they had traded for or bought cheap that later turned a good profit or trade themselves. It had been worth it so far.

Archer looked to his right. Sista was at one end of the hold talking with one of the alien merchants. Trip and Travis were at the other end haggling over the price of something Trip had decided they just had to have. Archer let out a longer sigh. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering where all the pipes along the ceiling went. Archer looked back down at the piles of junk surrounding him. He started a slow stroll between the piles, his mind meandering through a forest of thoughts as he walked. Archer passed a pile and stopped short. He looked back and down. Archer turned, tilting his head to the side. He reached down and tried to pull back a piece of metal.

"Assistance?" a voice asked.

Archer turned, finding an alien behind him.

"Yeah." Archer motioned to the metal. "Can you move that?"

"You wish to buy?"

"No. I want to look at something under it."

"Just a moment." The alien turned and called for assistance.

Two more aliens ran over and the three moved the piece of metal. As Archer reached for the doll he had spotted, something else further back in the pile caught his eye. Archer moved closer to the pile, reaching between a bar and piece of metal to touch a bicycle wheel. He pulled on it and saw it was attached to at least half of a frame. Archer moved back when the aliens appeared and began moving junk to recover the bicycle buried underneath. Archer picked up the doll he'd first spotted as he stepped out of their way.

An alien lifted the bicycle out of the pile and sat it down in front of Archer. Archer crouched down, laying the doll over his leg. He propped the bicycle up, examining the chain and brakes first. Then his hands went to the wheels. The front one was bent and two spokes had broken away, but he suspected Trip or one of his crew could easily fix it.

"Spoiling the kid again, huh?"

Archer looked past the aliens at Trip with a grin.

Trip laughed, walking over to the bike. He knelt down and examined the front wheel. "I can fix that easy. If nothing else, I think I can dig something up to make a new rim. The tire doesn't appear to be damaged."

"How much for these?" Archer looked up at an alien.

"Ten slips."

Archer and Trip exchanged surprised looks.

"Sold." Archer looked back at the bike.

"Taking up doll collecting?" Trip asked, glancing at the doll resting on Archer's leg.

Archer laughed. "I thought Navta would enjoy her."

"Got it," Travis said, walking up.

Archer leaned to the side, staring at the crate Travis held. It was full of toys.

"Spoiling Eartik?" Archer asked Trip.

Trip shrugged, grinning. "He wants to be an engineer. Has to have something to break and fix, right?"

Archer laughed. "Right."

"Okay. That's ev…er…y…thing…" Sista stopped when she saw the box of toys, the bike and the doll Archer was holding. "You three no go shopping with me no more! You spoil children too much," she scolded.

Archer smiled at Sista. "And you never spoil them."

Sista smiled, replying sarcastically, "I no spoil them every time I go trading. My husband not even this bad!" Sista batted a toy in the box Travis was holding.

Archer stood, tucking the doll under his arm. He sidled up to Sista, sliding his arm around her shoulders. "Can we keep the toys, mom?"

Sista rolled her eyes, looking up at him, "Yes, child. We keep toys. We go now before you three buy more useless junk!"

Archer, Travis and Trip said at the same time, "Thanks mom!"

"Aye!" Sista threw up her hands, walking away and complaining about the three in Varlikon.

#

Archer watched Navta running after the fireflies that had come out as dusk began to fall. He looked back at the fire.

"Now?" Hoshi asked.

Archer looked back at Navta.

"Come on. Give it to her, sir," Travis urged.

T'Pol looked at them. "What are you referring to?" she asked Travis.

"The Captain has a present for Navta on the shuttle," Travis explained.

"And he's being mean by making us wait," Trip added.

"How is that unkind to make you wait if the present is for Navta?" T'Pol asked.

"We want to see her expression."

"I doubt she even knows what a bike is," Archer told them.

"Yeah, but she'll be ecstatic simply because you gave it to her, sir," Hoshi pointed out.

"And then she'll ask what it is and you'll tell her and you two will be out there in the meadow with that bike until it's so dark you can't see your own feet," Trip said.

Archer smiled. "Navta," Archer called.

Navta stopped running and turned to him. "What, K'pan?"

"I left something on the Grasp. It's sitting against the back. Can you get it and bring it here?"

"Okay, K'pan." Navta turned and ran to the shuttle pod.

Archer looked back at the fire to wait. He grinned when he heard an excited squeal. Travis, Hoshi and Trip laughed.

"Oh!" Hoshi cried, standing up and catching Navta and the runaway bike she was trying to hold on to as she ran.

Navta threw her arms around Archer, hugging him viciously. "THANK YOU!"

Archer smiled. "You're welcome. But you can only ride it when I tell you. And not on Enterprise."

"Okay. I won't. What is it?"

Trip laughed at his correct prediction.

"It's called a bicycle." Archer took the bike from Hoshi. "Come on."

Navta hopped up and trotted beside Archer as he led her out into the meadow.

Archer held the bike up straight. "Okay, straddle the bike," Archer told her.

Navta obeyed.

"Sit your bottom here." Archer patted the seat.

Navta did.

"Hold onto the bars." Archer waited for Navta to do that. "Now, these here are the brakes." Archer pointed to the brakes on the handlebars. "Put your feet on the pedals here." Archer pointed to the pedal on his side.

Navta looked down, putting her feet on the pedals.

"Now, start pushing slowly pushing the pedals with your feet."

Navta did and the bike began moving. Archer jogged along with her, holding the bike up.

"Good! Now pull on the brakes."

She obeyed and the bike stopped. Archer took a hold of the back of the seat. "Now, I'm going to hold onto the back here. When you feel like you're balanced, tell me to let go."

"Okay."

"Ready when you are."

Navta started pedaling with Archer jogging behind her.

"Okay, K'pan," Navta said.

Archer let go and Navta rolled less than a meter before falling into a pile. From behind them Travis, Trip and Hoshi clapped and whistled.

Navta sat up, smiling up at Archer. "Did you see that K'pan? I made it a little."

"Yeah you did. Ready for another try?"

"Yes." Navta got up and put the bike back on its wheels.

"Here we go," Archer said.

Navta tried again and fell again. Five attempts later, she was pedaling in a slow circle around Archer.

"WOOHOO!" Trip yelled, clapping for her.

Navta smiled at Archer. "I got it! I got it!"

Archer laughed, turning so he could watch her ride around him.

"I learned to ride a bicycle!" Navta laughed.

Archer grinned. "Why don't you go across the meadow and back?"

"Okay." Navta turned the bike and peddled away.

Archer walked back to the camp, sitting down in his chair and watching Navta.

"Someday, when I have a child, I'll know who to look up to teach them to ride a bike, sir," Hoshi teased Archer.

Archer smiled at her. "And I will be happy to do it. Travis."

"Yeah?"

"Any good ghost stories tonight?"

"Ever hear of the," Travis made a dramatic pause and then asked in a mock 'ghostly' voice, "The Golden Arm?"

"Huh-uh," Archer answered. "Any of you heard it?"

"Nope. Let's have it," Trip answered.

Archer listened to Travis tell the story as he watched Navta ride back and forth across the meadow.


	7. When The Pie Flies

_When The Pie Flies (7)_

Archer had been staring at the computer screen for several minutes, not sure where he wanted to begin this. He chuckled as he stood up.

"Computer, start log," Archer said as he walked to his bed and laid down lengthwise on it. The computer beeped. He smiled, saying "Captain's log, November seventeenth, twenty-one fifty-seven. Sometimes being a captain has major disadvantages. Today was one of them. I was caught by complete surprise by my crew's actions today and while they are responsible for what they did, after spending three weeks on a ship with nothing in sight except for space dust, germs and the occasional unidentified flying rock, we have all started to get cabin fever. It all started because Chef had attempted to replicate cooked carrots, and they weren't cooked all the way through." Archer stood and started pacing his quarters as he spoke. "They were chewy like taffy in the center and hard on the outside—great combination for candy, not so great for carrots. And the irony of all this is that cooked carrots seem to be a favorite among my crew," Archer laughed. "At least it's not something gross like egg plant or artichokes!" Archer shook his head. "I couldn't get a straight answer from anyone involved and ended up pulling my senior officers into my ready room to get to the bottom of it. It could have gone worse, I suppose." Archer smiled, remembering the meeting he had a hard time being the stern captain he had to be.

#

Archer stared at Trip, T'Pol, Malcolm, Sista, Hoshi and Travis. All six were splattered with the remnants of the fight and all but T'Pol looked close to bursting into hysterical laughter. Hoshi had bits of cream pie stuck in her disheveled hair and a streak of butterscotch pudding ran down her neck. T'Pol had missed a spatter of chocolate pudding that ran down the side of her face near her ear and a couple more splatters across on her forehead. Trip proudly bore the remains of coconut cream pie in his hair and down the front of his uniform.

"Trip." Archer sat down on the edge of his desk and cleared his throat. "What happened?"

Trip and Travis both fought back laughing and failed. Archer cleared his throat again, his face becoming sterner as he tightened his jaw.

"Trip," Archer said through gritted teeth.

"It was Chef's fault, Cap'n!" Trip laughed.

Hoshi, Malcolm and Sista started giggling. Archer waited for the five to regain their composure before speaking again.

"Chef wasn't in the mess hall. Explain yourself."

"The carrots were awful!" Between fits of laughter Trip continued. "And I'd already had a bad day. I just wanted to eat and go home. I mean we've been stuck on this ship for three weeks without nothin' to do. I'm starting ta go stir crazy!" Trip laughed. "So I'm sitting there, eating, minding my own business, when Malcolm and Sista come into the mess hall fighting. They got their food and sat down and were still fighting. I looked up in time to see a carrot fly up from Sista's plate and hit Malcolm in the face—"

"It was accident!" Sista laughed.

"I still don't believe that, sir," Malcolm said.

"Mm-hm." Archer cleared his throat, his lips tightening into a thin line before relaxing. "And then what happened?"

"He chucked a carrot at her, sir," Travis laughed.

"But the carrot missed Sista and hit me right in the head." Trip pointed between his eyes, which jump-started a fit of giggles. "I threw it back at him and we exchanged words."

"I see." Archer nodded. "And then?"

"They were starting to get into a serious fight, sir," Hoshi explained, an occasional giggle escaping as she spoke. "And frankly we were concerned that it was going to result in a fist fight."

"Concerned my ass!" Trip laughed.

Hoshi started laughing. She turned, covering her mouth.

"You know what she did? Do you wanna know what your Ensign did, sir!?" Trip asked Archer, pointing at Hoshi.

Archer didn't reply. His lips tightened again.

"She dumped a glass of water on both of us! I mean, ice. Cold. Water. Right on our heads! I didn't think she could even reach that high."

"I jumped," Hoshi giggled.

Again the five burst into a fit of laughter.

"You poured water on two of your senior officers, Hoshi?" Archer asked her.

"I didn't know what else to do!"

"You could have called security."

"The water was closer," Hoshi started giggling again.

Archer stood up and cleared his throat, "And then?"

"I was furious!" Malcolm said, giggling between words. "And so was he." Malcolm pointed to Trip.

"I chucked a carrot at her. Told her to stop acting like one," Trip admitted.

"And what did you do then, Ensign?" Archer voice sounded strained. His face turned into a serious frown for a few moments.

Hoshi started laughing so hard she had to sit down in a chair before she fell over.

"She yelled at Trip," Sista answered.

"And then?" Archer asked.

"She yelled at me, her commanding officer!" Trip laughed. "Told me I was acting like a child and to grow up! Then she walked back to her table and sat down. I was so mad that I picked up my pie, walked over and smashed it on her head. The pie. Not the plate."

"Apple pie!" Hoshi laughed. "So I nailed him with a pie back."

"A whole pie?" Archer asked.

"Yes," the five replied.

"I walked over and got this beautiful, whipped cream covered, coconut cream pie. Then went over to Commander Tucker and rubbed his face in it." Hoshi smiled sweetly.

"I tried to defend the Commander," Malcolm said.

"I threw what was left of the pie at Lieutenant Reed," Hoshi said.

"I see. And then what happened?" Archer asked before clearing his throat.

"Full out food fight!" Trip howled. "We had food flying everywhere!"

The five burst into hysterical laughter, using each other for support to keep from falling over.

"T'Pol, at what point did you alert security?" Archer asked. He cleared his throat and tightened his lips immediately.

"I departed the mess hall as soon as I was struck with pudding."

Archer cleared his throat, coughed and asked, "I see. How long into the fight was that?"

"Nearly twenty minutes, sir."

"Did you partake in this food fight?"

"I continued eating, sir."

"And you didn't think to alert security as soon as Lieutenant Reed and Commander Tucker began arguing?"

T'Pol didn't answer.

"I'm very disappointed in all of you," Archer said. "You are all restricted to your quarters and posts for a week. Meals will be scheduled and you will have a half hour to eat and then return to your post or quarters. Is that clear?" Archer said.

"Yes, sir," the six answered. And then all except T'Pol burst into hysterical laughter at the same time.

"Dismissed!" Archer snapped. "Remain T'Pol." Archer stood and turned toward the window, clearing his throat again.

The five left still laughing hysterically. T'Pol waited for Archer to speak. Archer coughed and cleared his throat several times before speaking to T'Pol.

"It was twenty minutes, T'Pol. Why did you wait so long?"

"As I said, I was eating."

Archer turned and touched his computer screen. The video recording of the mess hall came up and he pointed at the screen.

"This does not look like eating, T'Pol," Archer said.

T'Pol looked at the screen. Her hand was frozen in the motion of smearing part of the pudding that had struck her in the face on Trip's face. Archer touched the screen and the video continued. While her voice could not be heard over the yelling of the fight, it was clear she said something to Trip, turned and left the mess hall. Archer touched the screen and it paused.

"Then you informed security of the situation."

"It was a foolish reaction, but I did not partake in the food fight."

"You're still under restriction, T'Pol. Dismissed." Archer cleared his throat, tightening his lips.

T'Pol turned and left the room. Archer fell into his chair and burst out laughing until his sides ached and he was crying. Archer worked to collect himself and then returned to other duties.

#

"…I wish T'Pol had just admitted she partook in the food fight. Maybe it would have convinced her that she really is part of the crew. And actually, it was good to see Trip get what was coming to him. I mean, he always contradicts everything she says and does, and she never says anything. I think it was a repressed desire. Computer pause." Archer laughed. He sat down at the computer on his desk and brought up the video. He forwarded to the part where he entered the mess hall with security and yelled for the fight to stop. Two pies, some salad, several spoons of pudding and mashed potatoes hit Archer in the face. "Computer continue. When that food hit me they will never know how bad I wanted to grab the nearest plate of food and join in. But…" Archer sighed, sitting back and watching the recording of him wiping his face off and started barking orders. "A captain is a captain. Like I said, it has its disadvantages. Today was one…" Archer laughed, "Some sage advice to any captain who may listen to this entry later: never forget your crew are human, and Vulcan, and as such, they will surprise you. Attached is the visual sensor recording of the incident." Archer laughed. "Computer, end log." The computer beeped.

Archer leaned forward and touched the screen. He restarted the video of the event, laughing hard through the entire thirty minutes of food fight.


	8. Bombs Away

_Bombs Away (8)_

Trip let out a short breath and quickly regretted it when his chest burned from frigid air entering on the inhale. Trip pulled his cap down around his ears, looking down at T'Pol.

"This is so stupid!" Trip snarled at her.

T'Pol was kneeling in the snow, patiently waiting for the core drill to draw out the sample from the frozen terrain below the snow. She didn't reply to his statement.

Trip's communicator beeped. Trip ignored it. Trip's communicator beeped again.

"You should reply," T'Pol said.

"Screw it!" Trip covered his cold nose with his gloved hands.

T'Pol looked up at him. Trip glared at her, dropping his hands.

"FINE!" Trip pulled off a glove, reached into his sleeve pocket, yanked his communicator out and flipped it open. "What'd'ya want!?"

There was a pause. "Uhm…is everything going okay?" Archer asked hesitantly.

"Oh, yeah. Great! Just swell!" Trip snarled at Archer.

"Are you two about done?"

"Are we about done?" Trip snapped at T'Pol.

"Yes. The core has another point six five meters to go for extraction."

"Another point six five friggin' meters," Trip told Archer.

"We're headed in your direction."

"Are we leaving when she's done?"

"Yes. Are you okay?"

"I AM FREEZING MY BALLS OFF! NO! I AM NOT OKAY!" Trip yelled into the communicator before snapping it shut and shoving it back in his sleeve pocket. He pulled his glove back on and tucked his hands under his armpits, muttering to himself. Trip looked at T'Pol finding her staring at him. "What!?"

"You have never displayed such paroxysm before."

"T'Pol, I'M FREEZIN'! Maybe you enjoy traipsing across a frozen planet to collect core samples that no one even gives a damn about, but I don't! And when I tried to talk my way out of this away mission, you pipe up saying how it could be beneficial in case there was any equipment failure due to the sub-zero temperatures that I was trying to get of going into IN THE FIRST PLACE! Oh, and let's not even talk about this fuckin' wind chill factor! I'm from the South. Snow is unheard of. Freezing temperatures are rare. I'm freezing my ass off WITH a thermal suit on! T'Pol…if I didn't love you I'd really hate you right now!"

T'Pol's eyebrow lifted. She returned to monitoring the core extraction without a word.

"Hey," Archer said, walking up and stopping beside Trip. Ensign Novakovich stopped on Trip's other side.

Trip didn't answer.

"Are you okay?" Archer asked.

"Shut up!" Trip snapped. "You agreed with her. I don't wanna talk about it."

Archer was taken aback by Trip's rare and extremely bad mood. Trip pulled his arms closer to himself with a souring grimace.

"You know, this isn't any dif—"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Trip, I'm your command—"

Trip glared at Archer. "Do you know where you can shove that commanding officer bullshit right now? This had not one damn thing to do with commanding officer bullshit. I had stuff I had to do back on the ship. You knew that. Lots'a stuff. But no, oh no! We have to go to a stupid frozen planet to get some damn core samples. And you agreed with her." Trip motioned down at T'Pol. "Yes. Yes. Agree with T'Pol. She's above me. Make an executive decision out of it! This whole thing is a monarchy, right? I mean, let's see if we can't make Charlie's already shitty week any shittier, shall we? I am freezing my—"

"TRIP! Breathe!"

"Breathe?" Trip leaned toward Archer. "Do you know what happens when I breathe?"

"Trip, down!" Archer ordered. "I am sorry I drug you down here. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Trip looked around when a movement caught his eye and watched Hoshi and Ensign Henrych come over the hill toward them. Hoshi stopped beside Ensign Novakovich.

"Hi!" Hoshi quipped, smiling. "You know what I'm dreaming of right now?"

"What?" Archer asked her; glad he wasn't the focus of Trip's tirade at the moment.

"A nice big cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it."

"That does sound good," Ensign Henrych smiled, "with a big bowl of chicken noodle soup."

Archer laughed. "Did you two understand the instructions I gave you on that last transmission, Hoshi?"

"Yes, sir. Understood." Hoshi looked at Ensign Henrych. "Did you understand them too?"

"Crys-tal!" he smiled at Hoshi.

"Is that thing about done yet?" Trip asked T'Pol.

"Another eight centimeters," T'Pol answered.

Trip hopped a little, reminding Archer of Navta throwing a temper tantrum. Archer turned and walked away. He knelt down and began to roll together a loosely packed snowball. Archer walked a few more meters and turned to the side, looking at Trip.

"Met's down five in the sixth. Games' up to Tucker's killer batting arm. But so far this game Archer's been shutting him down!"

Trip turned, looking at Archer. Archer smiled at Trip's smile. Trip turned, looking around for a makeshift bat. He settled on a used extraction rod and walked toward the imaginary home plate, swinging his 'bat' to get a feel of its weight.

Hoshi ran over to 'first base' and made ready to run. Ensign Henrych ran over to stand as catcher behind Trip and prepared to catch the 'ball'. Ensign Novakovich watched for a few seconds before heading to the imaginary second base behind Archer.

"Hey batter, batter, batter!" Ensign Henrych called out to Trip.

Trip got a grip on his 'bat' and turned to hit it. He nodded once.

Archer wound up his pitch and threw it right at Trip's ear. Snow splattered across Trip's face but he laughed.

"STRIKE ONE!" Ensign Henrych yelled.

Archer turned and packed another 'ball'. He turned, waiting for Trip's signal to throw it. Trip finished wiping snow off his face and made ready to bat again. He nodded once. Archer threw the ball and Trip swung, splattering the ball with his bat.

"RUN!" Trip yelled to Hoshi and Ensign Novakovich.

The three made a lap around to the home plate and stopped.

"My turn." Hoshi grabbed the bat and got ready to bat.

Trip and Ensign Novakovich stood back to watch. Archer turned and packed another ball. He stood up and waited. Hoshi turned her head so Trip couldn't see her face and winked at Archer, then nodded once. Archer threw the snowball and Hoshi dropped, letting the snowball sail over her and splatter on Trip's face. For a minute Trip stood still with snow on his face. He reached up and brushed it off, smiling evilly.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Hoshi yelled. She grabbed up some snow, packed it and threw it at Trip, starting the snowball fight.

T'Pol collected the core samples and gathered the supplies together. She turned, watching the five for a few minutes. She looked down at the snow under her foot, pushing snow back and forth with the toe of her boot and then watched them. T'Pol crouched down, slowly packing a snowball together and patiently biding her time. Trip ran close and T'Pol stood.

"Commander," T'Pol said.

Trip turned and was nailed in the face with a snowball. "OH!"

Trip ran at T'Pol, tackling her into a snowdrift. T'Pol said nothing when he looked at her.

"Was that revenge?" Trip asked her.

"Vulcan's do not seek revenge."

"Uh-huh." Trip smiled at her. "Sorry for being so mean."

T'Pol reached down, grabbed a handful of snow and smashed it in Trip's face.

"T'POL!" Trip cried out, rolling to his knees.

Trip wiped off the snow before looking up. T'Pol was standing over him throwing a snowball from one hand to the other, watching him without a hint of emotion. Trip grinned when it dawned on him that T'Pol was playing, something he had only seen when they were alone and even then it was rare. Trip slowly reached out to scoop up snow. T'Pol threw her snowball at him. Trip ducked and rolled away onto his fee. He scooped up snow, packed it and threw it at T'Pol. She ducked and it hit Hoshi. Hoshi turned, seeing a snowball in T'Pol's hand and threw hers at T'Pol. T'Pol was suddenly pelted with four snowballs at once. She didn't seem to mind. Instead she gathered up snow, packed another snowball and threw it at Archer, the closest person to her, continuing the snowball fight.


	9. 08:45

_08:45 (9)_

Trip's brow furrowed when he glanced at the shuttle bay door.

"We can't wait forever, Trip," Malcolm said.

"Give him another minute."

"He's already forty minutes late. Just go. T'Pol's got to be wondering what happened to us."

Trip tapped the console. "Trip to the bridge."

"Go ahead," Archer replied.

"Have you found him yet?"

"No. He's not responding to COM and didn't answer his door. I had security check his quarters and he wasn't there. Someone said they saw him heading toward the showers twenty minutes ago."

Trip sighed. "We need to leave. Can you handle this?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks. Trip out."

Trip initiated launch.

#

Lieutenant Kent strolled into the shuttle bay and stopped. There were no shuttle pods in the shuttle bay, much to his surprise. He walked to the companel and pressed the talk button.

"Kent to Commander Tucker."

Lieutenant Kent waited.

"Lieutenant Kent, where have you been?" Archer asked over the companel.

Lieutenant Kent looked at the companel, surprised Archer was responding.

"I'm sorry, sir?"

"Did you know that it's oh-nine hundred and forty-five hours?" Archer asked.

"Yes, sir."

"And where were you at oh-eight hundred and forty-five hours?"

"I was asleep sir. I didn't need to report to the shuttle bay until oh-nine hundred and forty-five hours in order to meet the rest of the away team. I'm here but there aren't any shuttles."

"There aren't any shuttles because you were supposed to meet them at oh-eight hundred and forty-five hours, Lieutenant."

"In the meeting Commander Tucker said oh-nine—"

"He said oh-eight hundred and forty-five hours and everyone else on the away mission showed up at oh-eight hundred and forty-five hours and are currently setting up on the planet right now."

Lieutenant Kent said nothing. Archer had just made an all too clarifying point.

"Lieutenant Kent, respond."

"I misheard the time, sir," Lieutenant Kent said quietly.

Archer paused. "You really thought it was oh-nine hundred and forty-five hours, didn't you Aaron?"

"Yes, sir."

"Come up to the bridge and let me redo your schedule for this week."

"Aye, sir. I'm sorry about this, sir."

"It was a misunderstanding. Nothing to apologize for. Report to the bridge."

"On my way, sir," Lieutenant Kent turned, leaning against the wall. He looked around the shuttle bay, saying to himself, "I really, really wanted to go."

With a heavy sigh, Lieutenant Kent headed for the bridge.


End file.
